Nervous before you call a girl? Want some quick advice on how to be better on the phone?
Some guys after a successful approach (or even a date or two) NEVER call. They purely rely on text/whatsapp. That’s cool if it works for you and if prefer it. But then you have some people who refuse calling a girl because they’re nervous and not confident on the phone.
This attitude will unfortunately transcend into other areas of their life too. Such as speaking on the phone in a quiet office or even public speaking….(Internal monologue usually is the culprit)
Something you will hear me say time and time again is….
YOU MUST CONFRONT YOUR FEAR IF IT IS IRRATIONAL.
Plus, being able to make confident calls are a must (calling a girl is just an example). I’ve personally closed dates,meetings & clients over the phone.
IT IS A LIFE SKILL
Destroy your phone phobia, through progression:
1) NO BIG DEAL ATTITUDE (N.B.D):
Just like anything that you build up in your mind to be a big event, the more you plan THE CALL, the more pressure you’re going to be putting on yourself.
Like a pressure cooker, by the time it gets to CALL o’clock you’ll be filled with nerves.
Chill out! Realise the call is no big deal. Nothing to be lost or gained from it. Don’t plan or script anything, if you’re really nervous you can have an idea of the first thing you’re going to say otherwise you’ll develop a dependence.
2) BE DOING SOMETHING ELSE (… walking, cooking, getting ready to go out etc)
This helps in two ways:
a) Multi tasking is not easy, and you’ll find doing two things at once difficult, so you wont be focused on the next thing to say, or being nervous. It’ll be forcing you to be present to the moment and will ease any croaky vocal notes.
b) Come across as a busy person who is always doing things; which is important, right?
3) SMILE & EXPRESS
You can tell if someone is smiling over the phone, you can hear it in their voice. It’s infectious and will make the women feel good. Also, remember when you’re speaking she can only go by what you say & how you say it.
Make sure you speak clearly & express more so that you would do in real life. Almost exaggerate the emotion that you’re trying to portray so it’s clear in the context of what you’re saying and will make for a much more engaging conversation.
Implement those three things and you’ll get more confident in time.
Just remember you don’t always need to be doing something on the phone and you don’t always need to smile. These are just tips; use them when appropriate.
BONUS: Have fun and be playful over the phone. The whole point of making the call is to create a fun moment in your life where you are connecting with the other person. Make jokes, laugh,.. let it come from a place of true expression and you’ll come across well.
Written by Michael Valmont