How to keep a conversation going
It happens to every guy – you start a conversation with a girl you’re interested in and it hits a roadblock and your mind goes blank. You might think that all of the potential topics have been used up and that there’s nothing more to talk about, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Learning how to keep a conversation going will give you the ability to recover a conversation once it reaches a silence or slows down. And you should also know how to keep the conversation engaging, fun and interactive for both you and the girl, which will help reduce the chance of silence or a stall.
When you speak from the heart to a girl without self-criticism, your words and body language will come across as natural. On the flip side if you are thinking too much about what you are going to say before you say it, it will come across as robotic and manufactured. Don’t worry about saying the wrong things, in the majority of cases you should speak your mind. As a general rule you should usually but not always avoid talking about religion and politics for your first few meetings, but eventually when the time and situation is right you can reveal your opinions on these matters.
Get rid of the filters and self-criticism
When talking with women it’s easy to filter what you say due to self-consciousness. The key to having an interesting and exciting conversation is to remove nearly all of these filters from your mind. Most topics are fair game even for a first conversation, and most guys severely limit themselves out of an irrational fear of judgment.
Fear and self-criticism causes the conversation to be boring and eventually stall altogether. When you filter your thoughts and criticize them, you are putting a roadblock up to the natural thoughts that make you unique and interesting. Girls pick up on artificiality quite easily, and most girls will lose respect for a guy that clearly changes his opinions in order to try to please a girl.
Don’t think about what the girl will find the most attractive before speaking, instead speak from the heart as much as you can, and ask her the questions that naturally come up in your mind as the conversation goes on. Obviously you shouldn’t make the mistake of saying something that would be offensive, but don’t be afraid to say something controversial or express strong opinions. Most women will find that more attractive and interesting than agreeing with everything that they say, or thinking too much about what you are going to say before saying it.
Pick up on conversational leads and use them to build the conversation
Conversational leads are talking points that the girl will bring up during your conversation. They are a way for you to keep the girl engaged and interested because conversational leads are based on things that she is interested in and passionate about.
You need to keep your focus on what she says to pick up on conversational leads, and be able to respond quickly with a statement, question or a story in order to keep the conversation going. For instance, if she mentions that she is going to exercise later on that day, you can follow up with a question about her workout, a story of a past workout experience, or a statement about working out.
It’s better to try to follow up with a question or story because it is more likely to provoke a deeper response than a statement. A funny or witty statement can also be a very effective response. You can simply ask a girl how her day went or what her plans for the day are in order to get leads to build a conversation from, but leads will be available throughout the entire conversation.
Talk about the current environment if the conversation stalls
A strategy for keeping the conversation going is to talk about the current situation or environment that you are in. This is important when the conversation starts to stall, as it is easier to pick up a topic from your surroundings and use it to spark the conversation again when you can’t think of any questions, stories or statements right away. You can make a funny observation about the surroundings or talk about something as simple as the weather.
Resurrect an old topic
When the conversation starts to die down you can always resurrect one of the first topics you discussed with her. You should never do this too much as it can make a conversation redundant and boring, but it’s one easy strategy to keep things rolling when the pace of the conversation starts to slow down.
Cultivate a positive mood prior to engaging
Before you make the effort to talk to a girl either in person or on the phone you should be sure that you are in the right mood for talking. If you’ve had a bad day it can affect the entire conversation, as you might display negative body language or a negative tone which are both major conversation killers. When you are in a positive frame of mind the conversation is much more likely to be interesting, funny, and more likely to carry on in spite of temporary silences.
Find common entertainment interests
Common interests are a great way to have an in-depth conversation. The world is connected by the media and entertainment. To get a girl interested, try to find out what her interests and preferences are for entertainment, and see if you have any similar interests. This is by no means a requirement to have a great conversation, but it’s an easy way to create a connection and gives you a common ground to stand on while you find out more about the girl and build on conversational leads.
Keep your focus on what she’s saying
Many guys lose their focus on what the girl is saying because of their fears or inexperience. This often happens during the first conversation, and it often results in the conversation dying out quickly. If you are focused on other things beside what the girl is saying, you won’t be able to create chemistry, and you won’t be able to catch specific leads to build on. Also, girls can sense insecurity and a lack of the ability to focus which are both unattractive qualities.
Get out there and talk to girls
The most important thing in learning how to keep a conversation going is to get out there and try to hold conversations with as many girls as you can. You will make mistakes and some conversations won’t go perfectly, but don’t worry about it. With enough practice you’ll learn how to keep a conversation going with a girl no matter what the situation is.